I Guess I Expected This...

So, this entry will be the least Biblical, prayerful, and Godly entry so far, but that is where I am right now, and I need to be honest with myself, with God, and with you guys. Home has been amazing. Too amazing. I have not stopped since I got home, and I have no plans to stop, slow down, and relax until I get back to SCU, and then, I probably still won't slow down. The thing is--I am loving my life right now. I am happy, truly happy, for one of the first times EVER in Seattle. I feel confident when I look in the mirror, I pray at night and know God is there. But during the day, and before I go to bed, I am not being a good Christian. I am not doing anything terribly horrible. Or, maybe I am, and I am just in denial. I have been spending tons of time with my friends, some time with my family, and a little time with God. And that is what bothers me. That list is backwards. It should say: Lots of time with God, tons of time with my family, and some time with my friends. Or something a little more like that. God should be coming first. I know that. I know it, but I can't seem to do it. I haven't picked up my Bible once, except for the day I tried to go to church. I tried, but then my dad begged me to stay at home for a brunch he had planned for my grandmas to come spend time with me. And that was legit, so I stayed, thinking I could go to church at 7pm instead. Luckily, I looked at my church website and saw that they changed the schedule for the winter, and aren't offering 7pm again until spring. SO, guess church will have to wait until next Sunday. So I guess I should explain what all has been going on in my life. I have been hanging out with Travis a lot, and things with him are going incredibly well. He has always been one of my best guy friends, and we just go so well together. I am worried I'm going to fall for him--right now it is all about the sexual frustration I accumulated in Buenos Aires. But things with him are going well. And I have been spending tons of time with Serena, my best friend, and all of our other friends from high school. Its all great--except that I am never just slowing down to have time to myself, and time with God, and I know that sooner or later (and I think it will be sooner) it is all going to catch up with me and I'll fall from the high I am experiencing right now. I guess I just need prayer right now, because I am slacking in the God department. It is really frustrating. I was doing so well with my relationship with God in Buenos Aires. I had nothing but alone time every day. But I want to feel God when I am with other people too. I want to know He is there with me always. And I know He is, but I am not living my life walking side by side with Him, and we all know that leads only to destruction. Anyway, it is late, and I am going to go to bed. But I am working on it. I am working on bringing God time back into my daily schedule--I just need help. I miss you both so much, and I really miss the fellowship we had with the Lord during our time in Argentina. I am sorry for not calling either of you--things have honestly been completely insane up here. I love you both, and hope God is keeping you both on track a little bit more than me.

Love you!!!
**bri**