http://impact-sbp.org/

Think about it... I'll be going to Honduras and I'm going to try to do an extended stay and be there most of the summer. But they go to a lot of cool places, so I just thought I'd pass it along. Love you girls! Late Merry Christmas and Happy Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

Hey girls,

I just wanted to with you both (and your families) a safe and happy Christmas. I pray that you both enjoy the time with your family and friends and that you remember why it is that we celebrate this day every year--and Thank GOD for giving us His son.

I love you both and wish that I could be sharing this incredible holiday with you! I can't wait to see you both!!

Love you!!

The Lord is with the brokenhearted...

I guess brokenhearted may be a little dramatic of me, but I am truly struggling with feelings of longing for BA and my friends. While I have truly been making an effort spiritually, physically, and mentally, emotionally I am stuck in Brokenheartsville :( missing everything and everyone from our past life, not to mention bad things with Jim. I'm not really sure how I felt about him in the first place...lots of confused emotions, but it turns out (as Becca helped me see) that he is just to insecure and not strong enough of a man for me. He is REALLY stuck in the past and not able to see a future with me - even as friends I'm afraid. I found a great verse today that I wanted to share with you guys in case you ever feel this way too:

Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.

WOW. Aren't we lucky? The psalm continues on to say:

19-22
People who do what is right may have many problems, but the Lord will solve them all. He will protect their very bones; not one of them will be broken. Evil will kill the wicked; those who hate good people will be judged guilty. But the Lord saves his servant' lives; no one who trusts him will be judged guilty.

I am praying for you girls...I miss you so much.
Love, Amanda

I Guess I Expected This...

So, this entry will be the least Biblical, prayerful, and Godly entry so far, but that is where I am right now, and I need to be honest with myself, with God, and with you guys. Home has been amazing. Too amazing. I have not stopped since I got home, and I have no plans to stop, slow down, and relax until I get back to SCU, and then, I probably still won't slow down. The thing is--I am loving my life right now. I am happy, truly happy, for one of the first times EVER in Seattle. I feel confident when I look in the mirror, I pray at night and know God is there. But during the day, and before I go to bed, I am not being a good Christian. I am not doing anything terribly horrible. Or, maybe I am, and I am just in denial. I have been spending tons of time with my friends, some time with my family, and a little time with God. And that is what bothers me. That list is backwards. It should say: Lots of time with God, tons of time with my family, and some time with my friends. Or something a little more like that. God should be coming first. I know that. I know it, but I can't seem to do it. I haven't picked up my Bible once, except for the day I tried to go to church. I tried, but then my dad begged me to stay at home for a brunch he had planned for my grandmas to come spend time with me. And that was legit, so I stayed, thinking I could go to church at 7pm instead. Luckily, I looked at my church website and saw that they changed the schedule for the winter, and aren't offering 7pm again until spring. SO, guess church will have to wait until next Sunday. So I guess I should explain what all has been going on in my life. I have been hanging out with Travis a lot, and things with him are going incredibly well. He has always been one of my best guy friends, and we just go so well together. I am worried I'm going to fall for him--right now it is all about the sexual frustration I accumulated in Buenos Aires. But things with him are going well. And I have been spending tons of time with Serena, my best friend, and all of our other friends from high school. Its all great--except that I am never just slowing down to have time to myself, and time with God, and I know that sooner or later (and I think it will be sooner) it is all going to catch up with me and I'll fall from the high I am experiencing right now. I guess I just need prayer right now, because I am slacking in the God department. It is really frustrating. I was doing so well with my relationship with God in Buenos Aires. I had nothing but alone time every day. But I want to feel God when I am with other people too. I want to know He is there with me always. And I know He is, but I am not living my life walking side by side with Him, and we all know that leads only to destruction. Anyway, it is late, and I am going to go to bed. But I am working on it. I am working on bringing God time back into my daily schedule--I just need help. I miss you both so much, and I really miss the fellowship we had with the Lord during our time in Argentina. I am sorry for not calling either of you--things have honestly been completely insane up here. I love you both, and hope God is keeping you both on track a little bit more than me.

Love you!!!
**bri**

Lonely days in Sunny Cali (yeah it's still Sunny like 60 yesterday)

Psalm 102
A prayer of an afflicted man. When he is faint and pours out his lament before the LORD.
1 Hear my prayer, O LORD; let my cry for help come to you.
2 Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly.
3 For my days vanish like smoke; my bones burn like glowing embers.
4 My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food.
5 Because of my loud groaning I am reduced to skin and bones.
6 I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins.
7 I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof.
8 All day long my enemies taunt me; those who rail against me use my name as a curse.
9 For I eat ashes as my food and mingle my drink with tears
10 because of your great wrath, for you have taken me up and thrown me aside.
11 My days are like the evening shadow; I wither away like grass.
12 But you, O LORD, sit enthroned forever; your renown endures through all generations. ... it goes on to talk about God's greatness and infinetness...

I guess I have felt alone ever since Rachel went away to the airforce on September 1, 2004 but you never really think about those things until you are down or so alone that all you can do is think. Sure, I've been happy, I've had friends and fun but everything has been so temporary. It's not that I feel unloved (well I guess sometimes I do) or ungrateful or anything, it's just a lot of times even when I have everyone around me that loves me, I feel like no one gets me. I think for the first time in a long time, my BA girls REALLY got me. I was able to express my crazy side and my Christian side. My "desires of the flesh" and desires to be a true woman of God. So even though my stupid boyfriend was too lazy to understand me and care about me, I was not alone at all. I was more surrounded by good people and God than I think ever in my life. Anyway, now I'm home and like I said before, that was all temporary. Not even my mother understands me. I don't want to talk about anything. I don't want to talk about Ryan because all she says is, "well he wasn't right for you. i'm glad you two broke up, and you didn't do anything you regret..." and I don't want to talk about how much I don't want to be here and I dread going back to school. It's so weird. My mom used to be one of my best friends.
Enough blabbering! So last night, I looked up "alone" in this GIANT Bible concordance thing my church gave me for graduation, and among other verses, Psalm 102:7 came up. "I am like a sparrow alone on a roof..." I read the whole chapter over and over, and I prayed out loud the verses. And I just started crying. I was like telling God that I just felt so alone, and for no reason at all, I stopped praying and I heard, "I am with you, you are not alone." And my whole body went numb and I just started balling. Tears of I don't know what! But there I was, being REAL with Jesus. "Hear my crys!"

Les extrano mucho...mis queridas

Dear God,
I miss these two beautiful women. I miss our Tuesday night Bible studies and all of the wonderful moments we had with You. Help all of us stay focused in You and to be patient in understanding how you will help us get through this difficult time of transition. Keep our hearts and eyes fixed on your heart and keep us together - the four of us - in prayer, memory, and the internet blogging revolution ;). I pray for each of us to STAND BY FAITH as we struggle in our adjustment to home, family, school, old friends, and keeping in touch with friends just made. Thank you for bringing each of us safely home.

In Your name we pray,
Amen

Becca's Original Starting Post:

November 24, 2006

Think before you act and bring everything to God 1^st. God is teaching me right now not to act on impulse but to be patient and wait and most importantly do not act out of my own wants, desires, or what I think is right, but what God wants of me. I have no idea how to do this and I pray that God will teach me. I need to 1^st learn how to just bring EVERYTHING to God, and then maybe He will teach me how to hear Him.

-Becca